Don't Worry, Nobody Cares about your Shitty Life

Full disclosure: This was originally an email to a friend of mine that I love dearly. As I wrote it up, I thought...aww hell, this might be a good blog post. So I checked with my friend if it was cool to share, cleaned it up, sectioned it out, deleted some stuff, added some memes and a title and voilà! My pal is also in the Subscription Box industry and is currently going through an unwelcomed time of transition. Our late-night discussions over the past few weeks keep coming around to 3 concrete steps that have helped me get "unstuck" in the past.

So if you feel stuck, try these three things. I bet you'll get out of them what you put in.

PS: To my dear friend...Gotchufam.

Step 1. Learn how to win others over

This step will help you understand how to "win others over" with friends, family, co-workers and clients. It seems easy in theory, but it's hard in execution. I recommend using this helpful chart and practicing daily. Try setting a calendar alarm that includes this link, and truly attempt to execute these lessons in your life that same day. BTW: I love Dale Carnegie.

Step 2. Build a plan right now

What if there was a data-backed method of getting shit done? There is, and it's called WOOP. Wanna change? Stuck? Trying to do better? Has life thrown a curveball at you? Use this for motivation, discipline and as a way to connect, engage and take action with others. It's simple and effective!

At Bulu, one of our department directors used the WOOP app to help her team break down a big, hairy goal into daily objectives. They kicked ass and posted amazing numbers - and this process helped them get to the win. Check out the four steps of WOOP below or snag the app here.

1. What is your wish? What is your most important wish or concern? Pick a wish that feels challenging but that you can reasonably fulfill within the next four weeks.

2. What is the best outcome? If your wish is fulfilled, where would that leave you? What would be the best, most positive outcome? How would fulfilling your wish make you feel? Identify your best outcome and take a moment to imagine it as fully as you can. 

3. What is your main inner obstacle? What is it within you that holds you back from fulfilling your wish? It might be an emotion, an irrational belief, or a bad habit. Think more deeply - what is it really? Identify your main inner obstacle and take a moment to imagine it fully. 

4. Make a plan. What can you do to overcome your obstacle? Identify one action you can take or one thought you can think to overcome your obstacle. Make the following plan for yourself: “If… (obstacle), then I will … (action or thought).”

Step 3. Eat Shit

Real talk. If you’re stuck and trying new things to get out, you’re gonna eat shit on the daily, and that's okay. It happens to me - All. The. Time. The nice thing is that after about six years of getting served shit bowls, you get tough. You develop a thick skin which makes it easier to do the right thing. If you want to be the best version of yourself, and that version doesn't match with what society thinks it should be (which is 99% of us) you're going to have plenty of awkward, anxious, and embarrassing moments. 

That last one, embarrassment, it's a sunnofabitch. I know that most people aren't the best version of themselves due to fear of embarrassment. Good news, I'm going to share a tip that a successful person (they built a billion-dollar company from nothing) told me and I want to pass on... "Don’t worry; nobody cares about your shitty life." Sounds terrible, right? But, fuck. They were right. 

People don't care that much about you. Sorry. And if you do enter their thoughts, it's likely for a fleeting moment or two. Nobody is walking around for 6 hours a day thinking "Oh my gosh, I can't believe Paul Jarrett wrote that on his blog!" Chances are, the worst thing that will happen to me and this blog is that someone might copy, paste and text a few lines mocking me to one of their buddies. I can live with that. And you can live with whatever your version of the mocking text message is, I promise. You deserve to be the best version of you. For the haters, as the late great Bernie Mac said…FUCK EM!

Love,

Paul